Ruppert, come here...............

First name when they want something, last name when I'm in trouble.

We had a customer come through for a visit today and they got there earlier than expected. So as I went through the pre-shift inspection I gave them a brief course on what the Hubtex was and some of the difficulties in driving it etc. One in the group was an obvious tree hugger type, not bad looking but had her hair pulled back and wasn't wearing any make up, so I thought I'd have a little environmental fun with her. Probably has a bumper sticker that says her other car is Birkenstocks. Anyway, I was brushing some oil on the mast and she asked how often we had to do that. I told her we used to do it every week when we were using grease but that we used whale oil now and it lasted twice as long.

"Whale oil" she exclaimed. "Yes. One of the maintenance guys has a brother in law that lives in Europe and he found a supplier for us. They ship it in a danish ham can so customs never questions it", I replied. A puzzled look came over her face and she seemed hesitant to ask me any more questions. About that time the Plant Manager arrived and took them on their tour. We have the oil in a ham can to throw off OSHA. They nailed us real good not long ago about not having things labeled properly so the ham can is used as a loop hole. If anybody questions it we just tell them that somebody must have brought it in for lunch. Since it's from a one pound ham it's a reasonably believable story.

Finally their tour was complete and they went in the office for a bit. I was glared at every time she saw me so I know she either bought the story or didn't appreciate the joke. Finally they left and Mike came out of his office. "Ruppert, come here. Would you mind telling me why I just spent the last 10 minutes explaining that our maintenance department was not illegally smuggling whale oil in from Europe" he asked. "Why am I always the one to be questioned when something unusual happens" I replied. "Don't change the subject, answer the question", he demanded. "Well, I might have mentioned something like that, they didn't believe me did they" I asked. Finally after a few seconds he chuckled. "No, you had the story sold until you mentioned the ham can. But she said she had to ask me about it because you told it so straight faced that she wasn't 100% sure about it. Next time laugh a little so they know you're kidding".