Things that work on paper.

Stepping away from the D4 Universe for a moment, although I'm sure I'll tie this in somehow at a later date, allow me to tell about our new suggestion program at work. It's called Gain Share. In theory it is a profit sharing program but in reality it's a Scanlon Average Bonus disguised by another name. The short version is that you can get a bonus for implementing new ideas but each time you get a bonus it makes it harder to get the next one.

One of the suits observed a forklift changing out skids at the caustic tank the other day and decided that the entire Die Shop should be rearranged. That way one of the Hubtex (large side loading forklift) could take care of the entire process. What the suit failed to take into consideration is that a forklift only changes the skids at the caustic tank when the Hubtex are busy. This didn't stop the new idea from at least getting started. I rolled my eyes when my lead told me what we would have to do that day; when I came up with an idea. And it works on paper so it must be a good one............................. Instead of rearranging an entire department, why not tether a balloon to the roof and attach the battery lift to it. That way the balloon could hover above the plant and pick anything up whenever anything needed picking up.

A couple days later I realized the limitations of a crane type lift and decided we should use a trained octopus instead. Octopi are supposedly smarter than dogs so I'm sure one could be trained in the lifting arts. We would no longer need forklifts or Hubtex and could eliminate 2 or 3 positions as we would only need one person to remotely pilot the balloon. Wow, what a great cost savings. I should write that up. I don't have all the details worked out yet but the illustration should give you some idea of the plans effectiveness.

D4 expands as result of new regulations.

While some organizations believe increased regulations have positive impacts on their sporting events. We at D4 frown upon rules and that is why we only have one. (please read the "Why are there no scholarship D4s" post) D4 is proud to welcome 4 new teams for this upcoming season. College of St. Redskin "Gangstazz", Reservation State "Missionarys", Firewater College "Addicts" and the Forked Tongue University "Spin Doctors". The teams will compete in the newly formed Minnesota and Northern Iowa Athletic Conference (M.A.N.I.A.C.) and will have automatic bids for the regular season and conference tournament champions.

College of St. Redskin will be a provisional D4 member for the moment as they don't have enough non-medical redshirts to qualify for post season play. However, should they get enough redshirts to transfer from other schools they will be allowed in the big dance, hereafter referred to as the Pow Wow.

This will bring the total number of D4 teams to 20 as Michigan A&T-Trout Creek (A&T stands for Archery and Trapping), UT-Carrizo Springs, Morris Wanchuk University and Cal State 29 Palms have joined as Independents. 80% of D4 goes to the Pow Wow so this year it will be a 16 team field.